Most of us, by definition, have average levels of emotional intelligence. However, our emotional intelligence can vary from one competency or dimension to another.
For example, in terms of Managing Self, people differ in their skills and many problems may arise if you have limited skills in controlling your strong emotions at work. You may lose the respect of colleagues, partners, clients, or anyone who experiences your rage or outbursts. You may say or do the wrong thing at the wrong time.
You may limit your career opportunities because you hijack meetings, are unable to build productive work-related relationships or are unable to speak in front of a group. If you are more likely to be verbally aggressive and hurt other people, then possibly promotion is less likely to be given to you. When strong emotions are uncontrolled it is quite conceivable that claims related to bullying, harassment and time off from stress will increase from the people who bear the brunt.
….and this is a financial risk that many organisations do not wish to take.
Not everyone will automatically give you the respect you deserve as a human being. Cutting remarks have become the default reaction, at work, at home, and online. It seems that the ability to show respect is becoming a lost art. When we get caught up in emotion, it’s easy to forget the principles of common courtesy.
There are simple ways that will help you to earn respect.
Acknowledging the person’s presence is the first step in approaching or getting into an interaction with someone. It’s simple and easy step, yet we let it slip so many times. A slight nod of the head, a smile, or a simple hello can go a long way in making a first impression.
Acknowledging your partner’s point is so hard in today’s ‘I’m-the-best/smartest/knowing- it- all ego lined world’. But on the other hand, when you do recognise another’s point of view, it’s a proof of emotional maturity, self awareness and authenticity.
When discussing a topic on which you disagree, learn to thank them for being open and sharing their perspective. If you don’t follow their reasoning, ask follow-up questions. To clarify, try rephrasing their points in your own words, and ask if you’ve got it right. All these practices help others feel heard and respected.
An important part of interaction is acknowledging the difficulties and challenges of others. If you approach them in a calm and reasonable manner, chances are much higher that they will respond in the same way, and they’ll be much more willing to listen. In contrast, if you begin with roundness, sarcasm, or yelling, you’ll be facing the similar response as the way of defence.
Achieving a balanced view of yourself in relation to others is important for gaining and keeping their respect. People may quickly lose respect for those who appear arrogant or conceited. But the other extreme is also dangerous: If you lack conviction or confidence, you could be labelled as weak and inconsistent.
Maintaining this view where you have plenty of value to offer, but so do other people, isn’t always easy, but it’s possible if you focus on identifying strengths within yourself as well as within others.
Treat others the way you want to be treated is a principle that has been around for thousands of years. It’s simple and easy to remember, yet complex in meaning. It encourages respect and connection and requires taking others’ tastes, values, and perspectives into consideration.
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